GGNonno

Dear Jane,
Your only living great grandfather is quite a character. He is a sour, jowly old man who tries exceptionally hard to take the fun out of every situation.
I'm also pretty sure his mind is going, since he accidentally called you "Jean" the other day.
But he loves you quite a bit. He's opened a savings account for you and is always giving you gifts. He has been entirely unpredictable in what he will say or do. He has cooed over you and rocked you when you were sad. He demanded to be the one to open your savings account and to give you your first ice cream cone (once you're old enough). He even picked out his favorite picture of you and keeps telling people about it. He has it stashed on his iPad to show everyone he knows (and that's a lot of people).
You really do turn heads everywhere you or your picture go.
All my love,
Mom
Here is GGNonno's favorite picture of you to date:

Sleepy

Dear Jane,
You have slept almost as much today as when we first brought you home from the hospital. I'm pretty sure it's because you aren't feeling well, but it's hard to dislike the fact that you want to snuggle with Mommy the whole day. Your dad says I'm being a crazy, paranoid overprotective mother. Perhaps so. But it's my right, since I carried you and pushed you out of my body, so the two of you can just get over it.
Eventually, I had to lay you down because I REALLY had to go to the bathroom. You took the opportunity to strike poses in your sleep. Little weirdo.
All my love,
Mom

Worrywart

Dear Jane,
You've had a raspy voice and a snotty nose all weekend. This morning you had a bit of a temperature. It's lucky it wasn't anything too serious or I would have flipped out. Still, I kept a close eye on you today. Your fever went down in the afternoon and you seem better now. It helps that you've been sleeping a little more than usual the past few days. If all is well tomorrow, I should be able to leave you home with Gramma while I finish a couple hours of work at First 5.
Here's hoping for the best!
All my love,
Mom

Sitting Pretty!

Dear Jane,
You started trying to sit up by yourself today! Mom and Dad are so proud!!
All my love,
Jill

Friday Frenzy

Dear Janey,

Today has been a looooong day.

It started as most Fridays do in Mrs. Thornton's first grade. It was a particularly cute day, though. One of the students, Anthony, had his birthday today and brought in cookies. He had a few left over after each of his classmates had one. He gave one to me, one to your Gramma and then broke off a small piece of a cookie, presented it to me and said "This is for baby Jane."

It a was super sweet. I felt bad telling him that you're still on an all-liquid diet. He did earn himself a treat, though. Next week I'm going to make cupcakes for all the first graders.

At noon, we headed down to First 5. There was still some extra help work they needed done. While there, your Aunt Mary gave me tickets for Viking Skate Country. She couldn't use them and they were only good for tonight. Shortly afterward, you threw a tremendous fit and we had to leave.

We got home between 4:30 and 5 pm. You continued to throw a fit off and on while I started dinner and washed the dishes. Gramma came by a little after 6 and had white bean chili with us (YUM) and then gave you a bath. Actually, she gave you a bath first to soothe you and calm you down, since you were in such a bad mood. Then she ate. It's lucky that white bean chili reheats well.

Then came sweet silence. You finally fell asleep. While you were unconscious, your dad and I snuck out to go skating. It was the first date we've had since you were born! We had a ton of fun, even though we were probably only out for an hour or so. I just hope that you get your dad's balance. I am not a capable skater. Even so, coupled with my sweet dance moves (i.e. my dorky dance moves), I was still one of the coolest people there, along with your dad. Redding has some pretty huge nerds and they apparently hang out at the skating rink. It's like nerdvana (nerd nirvana) out there!

As we were putting our shoes on to leave. I managed to throw out my back and I had to take tiny little baby steps all the way out to the car and move my top half as little as possible. It looked ridiculous (and I was STILL one of the coolest people there)!

Now we're home. We watched a little TV while I enjoyed the cotton candy I got at the rink. It's bedtime for me. Like I said... Loooooong day.

All my love,
Jill

P.S. You screamed so emphatically today that you actually made yourself hoarse. You are literally on the verge of laryngitis. I didn't even know that could happen to a baby! It's disheartening and adorable all at once.

Nicknames

Dear Jane,
Your father and I (and Gramma) have come up with several brilliant nicknames for you during your short time with us. Here are some of them:
•Kid
•Weirdo
•Crabbypants
•Little Miss
•Squeaks (because even before you started cooing, you would squeak in your sleep. Cutest sound ever and it kept a first-time neurotic mother from having to get up every five minutes to make sure you were still breathing)
•Big Blue Eyes
•Chubby Cheeks
•Monkey Toes
•Pretty Girl
•Bubbles (because you blow the biggest spit bubbles I've ever seen)
•Janey
•Zany Janey
•Bug-a-boo
•Rage Monster
•Cutest Baby Ever (Gramma's favorite)
•Tiny Old Man Bum (because you're still having trouble filling out the bum of your pants)

Aren't you so glad to have parents like us?? Don't worry. I'll continue to embarrass you for years to come.
All my love,
Mom

Is it me?

Dear Jane,
It seems to me that most of my peers who have become mothers in the past few years are SUPER sensitive about their parenting.
Most of these women complain about one of two things (or sometimes both of them):
•when they were pregnant, strangers would come up to them and touch their bellies without asking for permission
•someone gave them some unsolicited advice/words of wisdom
I've never identified myself as someone who is super laid back, but I feel like all these chicks are overreacting a bit. Maybe they're just around a nutty group of people and their rants have true merit. I just haven't had anything close to that experience. When I was pregnant with you, I only ever had one stranger come up and touch my belly and, though I was annoyed, it had nothing to do with his actions. I was mad because it was hot as blue blazes outside, I had just eaten something that wasn't agreeing with my delicate (ha) constitution and you were already several days overdue and I was ready to get you OUT.
As for the advice, I can't say I mind it. Maybe it's because I'm fairly certain that I'll do that to young girls in the future. Maybe it's because becoming a mother had softened my interactions with annoying people to some degree. I can't be certain. It's definitely not worth whining about, though. Sometimes I actually get some pretty good advice!
Oh well. I guess it doesn't hurt me to let those girls get their blood pressure up over something trivial.
Look at me... I'm growing up! It's boring me already. :)
All my love,
Mom

All Around Momma

Dear Kid,
I am exhausted. The past two days I've been working at First 5 doing some extra help activities. Because I am your main food source and you refuse to drink from a bottle, you have been coming with me.

I'm pretty sure it's the most horrible idea I've ever had.

You see, you've been extra fussy lately and now require constant attention. Ordinarily, I'd love to give it to you, but that does make it kind of difficult to actually accomplish anything. It was basically chaos. You would be happy for about 8 seconds at a time, during which someone would want to hold you (usually your Aunt Mary). You would smile and flirt with a couple strangers and then be returned to me. At that point, you would promptly throw a hissy fit. I would bounce you and pat you and talk to you, but none of it worked. I even tried feeding you several times, but you refused to eat. Seriously! You should be eating every 2-4 hours but you went about 6 or 8. You are a crazy girl. I guess I could have left you with your daddy after all.

And to all the mommies out there who do it all and are actually half decent at both jobs, I applaud you. It's stinking hard.

All my love,
Mom

Always Learning

Dear Kid,
I swear, you learn something new every day. It's amazing how fast you're growing. You can officially hold up your head all by yourself. It's awesome!
Also, tonight you decided to punch me REALLY hard and then when I cried out in pain, you laughed at me. That might be even more advanced than gaining muscle in your neck!
One thing is for sure... You are quite the pistol.
All my love,
Mom

Fail

Dear Jane,
I'm failing as a parent and a provider. I wish I was better. I'm sorry.
All my love,
Mom

Fail

Dear Jane,
I'm failing as a parent and a provider. I wish I was better. I'm sorry.
All my love,
Mom

No More Tears

Dear Janey,
The past few days have been rough. You're upset all the time and we don't really know why. DziaDzia thinks its gas. Gramma thinks you might start teething soon. Your dad says we're all crazy and you aren't crying any more than usual. I'm pretty sure he's only saying that to keep me from developing a twitch, though.
I hope we figure it out soon. You are wearing me out, kid.
All my love,
Mom

Weird

Dear Janey,
I think it's important to tell you about everything; not just the cutest stuff.
Today you cried and screamed for about an hour before you fell asleep. It was worse than normal. I do kinda like it though... I love that you always end up falling asleep on my chest. It's adorable.
Also, your soft spot really freaks me out. At the right angles and in the right light, I can see your brain pulsing. So weird. It has made me super careful with you, though. That's a plus.
All my love,
Mom

Did It Again...

Dear Janey,
Dang it! Missed another one! I blame myself for that. I walked around like a zombie yesterday. Sleep has alluded me lately. Every time I lay down to take a nap and catch up, my brain goes into overdrive. I think about the billion other things that need to get done and it elevates my heart rate. So I just end up lying in bed until I give up and hang out with you for a while instead. I guess that makes it not all bad... :)
All my love,
Mom

Missed Monday

Dear Janey,
I already missed a day! I guess it was because it was such a big day for you. Yesterday you were three months old! It's crazy how fast you're growing. You've become so chatty lately, especially when you have mommy or daddy's attention. It's entirely adorable. You flail your little arms and legs in absolute excitement. You also love to watch basketball with your daddy.
You just can't do anything that isn't adorable.
All my love,
Mom
P.S. I'll try not to miss a day again.

Same Old, Same Old

Dear Janey,
Today at 5:30 pm, I asked your dad if it was okay for me to go to bed yet. I'm totally wiped out. As I still get up every night to feed you, usually multiple times, and run around during the day AND have been missing the daily naps that I'm supposed to be taking to keep up with you, I'm a little burnt out. I can't really complain though. It's a real kick in the pants to be your mommy.
I can't help but wonder about certain things that seem to happen to me almost daily... I wonder if these kind of things happen to other mothers as well, or if I'm a special kind of dope. Here's an example from today:
Your dad and I were asked to give the opening and closing prayers for sacrament meeting today. We graciously accepted. However, when we do give prayers, I like to go first so I can focus on church instead of freaking out about doing the prayer for a whole hour. I told your dad I was going to go first no matter what, but his name was in the program and they announced he would be doing the opening prayer, so he talked me into waiting to do mine. Shortly after sacrament was passed, you decided to drop a giant deuce in your pants. You also were insatiably hungry. So I took you off to the mother's lounge. I figured I had plenty of time, since there was a High Council speaker and they are notoriously long-winded. This guy must have been new, because he did not have that distinction. So as the closing hymn began, I was jamming stuff into your diaper bag and hoping that it had at least four verses. I managed to get back in time to do the closing prayer, but not in time to drop you off with your father first. I had to walk right up to the front, plunk you on the Bishop's lap, fold my arms and give that prayer. I was so worried you were going to freak out in front of everyone that I don't even remember what I said.
Afterward your dad took advantage of my obvious distress by telling me that I said "God bless the puppies" while I was up there. He's lucky he told the truth before I got the chance to apologize to the Bishop or he would have been sleeping on the couch for a week. Sigh. I can't even go to church without creating a three-ring circus out of something.
Oh well. All's well that ends well. Besides. it gave me the opportunity to show you off to the whole church at once.
All my love,
Mom

Football Saturday

Dear Janey,
Today was mostly spent at Gramma and DziaDzia's house watching football. You see, the Broncos (your daddy's team) and the 49ers (your DziaDzia and Auntie Em's team) played in back-to-back games (against other teams).
Your father wanted to see both games and DziaDzia thought it would be fun for us to all come over and watch them. That way, we could make a day of it and order pizza, etc. It was his ploy to get us to come. Your dad didn't need any convincing, but football bores me and your Gramma wasn't around to make snarky comments about the game with me. DziaDzia needed me to come because if I wasn't there, you wouldn't be there either. Hence the pizza ordered from one of my favorite places. Man, that guy knows how to play me.
Lucky for me, I had some work to do for First 5. I'm working for them from home right now. So while your dad and DziaDzia yelled and screamed at the TV, I sat in the corner and worked on a spreadsheet. It was nice because I was able to be super productive AND have awesome pizza AND let you spend a nice, long chunk of time with DziaDzia on his day off.
Overall, a good day for everyone except for the puppies, who were abandoned at home during our time out. It was also a pretty rough day for your daddy because the Broncos lost. By the time you're old enough to read this, I'm sure you'll have noticed that he becomes quite the sad sack when one of his teams loses a big game. Sorry about that.
All my love,
Jill

Sesame Street

Dear Mom,
Maybe it's because Jane's diapers have Big Bird and Cookie Monster on them, but I've been thinking a lot about the letter of the day. Today's letter is G.
G is for great Gramma. Not "great" in the sense of Jane's mother's grandmother but in the more common use of the adjective. The reason you're such a great Gramma is that you are so willing to be in charge of Janey's bath day. I am so terrified of giving Jane a bath! I don't know exactly what it is... I think there are just so many things that could possibly go wrong. When she's older, I think I'll feel more comfortable, but I'm really glad that you're so willing to help in the meantime. That kid would be crazy dirty if it wasn't for you!
Today, G is also for Giants. The San Francisco Giants. The World Series trophy was in town today and Auntie Em was DYING to go with Little Miss to see the trophy. So we went!

Janey wasn't super happy about it the whole time...

But she perked up and got some good pictures with Auntie Em and the trophy.

Em was thrilled.

All my love,
Jill

Tummy Troubles

Dear Janey,
You have reached the point in your life where spitting up on people is no longer completely adorable. Last night you felt the urge to spit up all over me. I mean, it was allllll over. There was so much that when I pulled my shirt off to change it, there was still a thick line of it down the front of my body. That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the smell. When babies are strictly breast feeding, everyone tells you that the baby's bowel movements and vomit won't smell very much. Up to last night, that held true. This spit up was different though. I don't really know why, but it smelled BAD. The worst part was that I couldn't get the smell off of me! I tried everything, short of taking a bath in tomato juice. Finally, I had to settle for covering it up (a little) with perfume. It wasn't ideal, but it was all I could come up with.
With about 24 hours since the initial incident, we now think there was a little stomach acid mixed in with your spit up. You may have a bit of a stomach bug. You haven't been eating well all day today, and you've pooped quite a bit. I can't quite call it diarrhea, since you only take in breast milk and your poo always looks like that.
I just hope you feel better soon.
All my love,
Mommy

Talents from Heavenly Father

Dear Janey,
I will be the first to admit to you that I am a paranoid mother. I worry that you will be deprived of experiences because I don't know how to do certain things. For example, my mother can sew and cook, but I definitely lack those abilities. Your Auntie Em and DziaDzia are great at math and science, but I will struggle to help you with your homework in those areas once you leave middle school (and possibly before that). Aunt Amanda is artistic and is a skilled singer, dancer and musician, but you will be super embarrassed when you see me sing, dance or play an instrument... Even if its in the comfort of our own home.
I think it's highly likely that you ended up with some of those genes, since they run in your bloodline. If not, it's very possible you'll want to learn something else I can't teach you. I'll tell you right now that it will be a struggle for me to keep up in a lot of ways, and I'm going to hate it and love it all at once. Hate it because I'll want to spend as much time with you as humanly possible and love it because I want you to have everything you could ever need and want. I intend for you to never see these emotions come out in me, since I'm the parent and its my job to keep it together. I'll probably slip up. When I do, try to be patient with me. It's only because I love you so much.
All my love,
Mom

Running Around

Dear Janey,
We had quite a busy day today! A big part of it was random errands, but the biggest part was our first WIC class. There are some crazy people there. It was like stepping into the peopleofwalmart.com website. I think there were some parents who are doing the best with what they have, but there were others who just aren't trying at all. One couple fully admitted to letting their 3-month-old son watch cartoons. Cartoons! At three months! I won't lie... I judged them. I think we'll probably be seeing the same people at future classes, which could be interesting. I'm curious to see how some of these kids turn out.
But don't worry. You were totally the cutest baby there.
All my love,
Jill

Just Another Day

Dear Janey,
I've been reading the Little House books again. I hadn't read them since childhood and we got our own set as a gift this Christmas, so I thought I'd go for it. I forgot how good they are! I often find myself thinking how fun it would be to have a life like Laura Ingalls... But then I remember that I hate nature and I'd let my bladder explode before I'd pee in the woods. That snaps me out of it.
Other than that, today was pretty uneventful. You've been having these crazy evening tantrums, but it's probably due to some kind of growth spurt. It got so bad last night that we had to call in the cavalry (Gramma) to come over and relieve us for a while. She finally got you to sleep and then you gave me a break for several hours before you got hungry again. You've done much better tonight, but I still think you might not be getting enough to eat even though I'm feeding you constantly. I don't think my milk supply has quite caught up with your appetite. I hope I'm just being crazy, though. I'd really hate to know that I'm not taking care of you in the best possible way.
Also, you've recently started giggling in your sleep. IT'S THE CUTEST THING EVER!
All my love,
Mommy

Resolutions

Dear everyone,

I don't often make New Year's resolutions, but I'm going to try it this year.

I intend to:

•blog daily
•write to my darling Janey
•keep up on scrap booking of Jane's early life
•get my crap together in general in an attempt to be a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, employee, etc.

That's all for tonight. Jane is in a terrible mood and I'm crazy tired.

All my love,
Jill