Keep on Rolling

Dear Jane,

You rolled completely over for the first time today!

But no one saw it.

I was folding laundry and your dad was watching a movie. You were playing nicely on the floor (on your back) with your toys and then I looked down and you were on your stomach! I gasped, your dad looked down and we both screeched for joy and then realized how disappointed we were that we didn't see it.

Then we tried to make you do it again.

You refused. Stubborn kid.

All my love,
Mom

In A Scrape

Dear Jane,
You got your first self-inflicted injury today. That sounds kind of weird to say, but here's what I mean: you have had minor injuries in the past from fingernail clipping and the like. Today was the first time you were actually strong enough to hurt yourself (and by today, I mean yesterday, since I'm posting this at 1 am). I found this little bruise on your knee when I was changing your diaper. I knew it wasn't serious, but I still yelled to your dad because it was the first time this has happened (talk about dorky first-time parents). We aren't totally sure what happened, but we think you bashed a toy into your leg.
It seems silly, but I feel like its important to mark this moment. From now on, you'll do all kinds of stuff to hurt yourself. You'll do some on purpose and some will happen as a result of circumstances around you. Some will be emotional, most will be physical... Everything from scrapes and bruises to a broken heart. After all, you come from a long line of clumsy people. I just thought you might like to know how it all began.
Happy five months, baby girl. I'm both impressed and saddened by how long (and short) I was able to keep you perfectly safe.
All my love,
Mom

The Blahs

Dear Jane,
I know I haven't been posting regularly. A lot of days are tough because its the exact same thing over and over again. I'm not really complaining about it... I enjoy routine. You also enjoy routine, so we both end up in a pretty decent mood by the end of the day as long as nobody screws with our schedule. Again, it's not a complaint. It just doesn't leave much for me to write about. Trust me... When you smack me in the face with something new, I will definitely write about it.
You are currently teething again, so you're angry most of the day, which means I'm currently exhausted. So off to bed.
All my love,
Mom

Perfect Mayhem

Dear Jane,
I've definitely broken my New Year's resolution. I promised to blog every day. A lot of days, that's really hard, especially lately. Your dad and I haven't been working since before you were born and the financial strain is hitting me hard. I get so overwhelmed and when I try to blog during that time, bad things happen. I write better than I speak... It's the easiest way for me to communicate. When I write about something terrible, I see the full impact of the situation... Worse than any other time.
So I've skipped those days.
That's one trait that I desperately hope you don't get from me; my desire for perfection. I know we're all human and we all make mistakes. I allow for that in others but never for myself. I expect too much all the time, and I constantly let myself down. When I do that, I feel like I'm letting everyone down; you, your dad, my parents... Virtually everyone that could possibly be connected with the situation. For you, I want all the best. I also want realistic expectations and the knowledge that "good" is often good enough. "Great" and "perfect" aren't necessarily better.
So I will continue to blog with unfailing regularity. Some days it just won't happen and I'll try not to beat myself up about it.
It's a small step, but you have to start somewhere.
All my love,
Mom